


perhaps in this life

by princ3ssf33t



Series: Obitine Week 2020 [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker is a cutie pie, Anakin wasn't accepted into the Jedi Order, But also A little shit, Day 7: Free Day, F/M, Gen, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, ObiTine Week 2020, So Obi-Wan left with him, and can't process them, he feels all the feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princ3ssf33t/pseuds/princ3ssf33t
Summary: He’d left the Jedi Order. He’d left the only life he’d ever known, and had returned to the planet, to the one person, he’d allowed his traitorous heart to attach too. He’d acted without taking the appropriate amount of time to think over all the consequences would wrought over him. It had been like the Force was pushing him to jump when he would have normally walked, and he jumped.Only he's not alone.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Series: Obitine Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799788
Comments: 8
Kudos: 170





	perhaps in this life

If Obi-Wan was going to be honest with himself, he hadn’t been sure that he would have been able to get permission to land on Mandalore. It wasn’t like he and Duchess Satine had parted on bad terms, when Obi-Wan reflected back on the way that he and his former lover parted after the year they’d spent together, their departure was fairly amicable. 

Still, that didn’t stop the anxiety about the nature of his request from creeping up on him and forcing him to entertain the possibility that he had manufactured what happened as a figment of his imagination to cope with the way they parted. 

_ “Shuttle Madainn, you’ve been granted permission to land. Please proceed to the landing platform at these coordinates,” _ the voice over the comm said. It wasn’t long before the coordinates were transmitted to Obi-Wan’s ship. 

Obi-Wan gave a quick glance to the coordinates before he had to stop and look at them again to be sure that he had read them correctly. He tried to release the sudden spike of anxiety in him to the Force and to swallow when he realized why he recognized them. He only succeeded in accomplishing one of those tasks. 

“Acknowledged,” Obi-Wan said. “Shuttle Madainn, out.” 

Obi-Wan turned off the comm and attempted to focus on the remainder of the landing cycle. As soon as the landing struts made contact with the platform, Obi-Wan’s mind was consumed with the consequences of what he had actually done. 

He’d left the Jedi Order. He’d left the only life he’d ever known, and had returned to the planet, to the one person, he’d allowed his traitorous heart to attach too. He’d acted without taking the appropriate amount of time to think over all the consequences would wrought over him. It had been like the Force was pushing him to jump when he would have normally walked, and he jumped. 

Qui-Gon would have been proud.  _ You’re finally listening to the Living Force _ , is what he would have said. 

Well, now when he reached out to the Force to try and see where his path was supposed to go now, the Force had fallen silent. 

“Master Kenobi? Where are we?” 

Obi-Wan turned to see the boy that prompted this entire change in lifestyle. Anakin Skywalker was rubbed at his eyes as he woke up from the long flight from Coruscant to Mandalore. He looked so small in the copilot’s seat, underneath the crash-webbing. 

“Mandalore, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. He began to undo his own crash-webbing. “And you don’t have to call me Master, I’m not a Jedi anymore, and you’re not a slave. You can call me Obi-Wan.” 

Anakin started working on his own crash-webbing. He made short work of it. “Yes, sir.” 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reminding himself that there had been so many different changes in the boy’s life in such a short amount of time, and it was alright if he clung to some of his old mannerisms yet. He’d been freed from slavery, and was promished to become a Jedi, only to have the master who promised that to perish and the Council to refuse Obi-Wan’s request to train the boy as Qui-Gon wanted. And now he was on a strange planet on the opposite end of the galaxy, far away from everything he’s ever known. 

“Who’s that?” Anakin asked. 

“Anakin, don’t stand on the chair,” Obi-Wan scolded before he turned to see who Anakin was asking about. 

He looked out onto the landing platform to see that a small crowd had gathered near their ship. Obi-Wan recognized the uniform of the Mandalorian Royal Guard on most of the individuals gathered around a solitary figure with one of the most elaborate headdresses Obi-Wan had seen. His mouth went dry. 

“That would be the Duchess of Mandalore, Anakin.” 

Anakin had quickly gotten off the chair when he was told, but was now too short to see the crowd over the console. He leaned against it and lifted himself onto his tiptoes to attempt to see better. 

“What’s she doing here? I thought the Council was going to let us leave without trouble?” 

Obi-Wan met the frightened blue eyes that turned to him. He tried to offer a reassuring smile to the boy. 

“And they did. This welcome committee has nothing to do with the Council.” 

“Are you sure?” Anakin asked. He reached up and grabbed Obi-Wan’s hand. 

Obi-Wan blinked at the gesture of trust. His smile faltered for a moment before he restored it. He gave the little boy’s hand a squeeze for good measure. 

“Absolutely,” Obi-Wan said, mustering up as much confidence as he could. “The Duchess and I have known each other for years. Master Qui-Gon and I protected her for quite a while, and she and I became good friends.”

Anakin stayed by Obi-Wan’s side as they made their way from the cockpit down to the boarding ramp. Anakin didn’t let go of Obi-Wan’s hand the entire time they walked, and his grip grew tighter when Obi-Wan pressed the button to lower the boarding ramp. Obi-Wan let the child hold his hand. 

There hadn’t been anything else he could do for him. 

The sun was bright as the pair of them stepped off the ship and onto the personal landing platform for the Duchess. Obi-Wan lifted his free hand to shield his eyes from the sudden change of light, and he felt Anakin do the same. Their walk toward the welcoming party stalled as they adjusted. When they were able to look about them again, Obi-Wan’s focus narrowed in on the woman in front of him, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Obi-Wan Kenobi. I’m surprised to see you here. I was unaware that there was any trouble in the sector that the Jedi Council needed to intervene with.” Her words were sharp and biting. 

Obi-Wan made sure that he bowed low to the Duchess. Anakin was quick to follow his lead. 

They heard the Duchess’ shoes against the durasteel of the platform approach them. Obi-Wan straightened to find that the Duchess was only a meter or so away. One of her hands was free to gesture as she spoke now.

“And who is this youngling?” She asked. “Your padawan, I presume? What’s your name, child?” 

Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan, looking for guidance as to what to do. Obi-Wan gave him an almost imperceptible nod and a nudge through the Force that it would be okay for him to answer. 

“I’m Anakin Skywalker, your highness,” Anakin said. He dipped his head once again. 

Obi-Wan saw the corner of the Duchess’ mouth twitch at Anakin’s extra bow and incorrect title. He cleared his throat, ready to explain that Anakin was not his padawan, and he was no longer a Jedi. The Duchess turned to look at him, and Obi-Wan recognized the carefully constructed mask she’d crafted years prior to keep her emotions from being on display. 

And he found that all the words he’d been trying to craft the entire time they were in hyperspace vanished from his mind. The Duchess lifted an eyebrow at his wordlessness. Anakin shuffled uncomfortably in place. 

“Why don’t we reconvene at the Palace later tonight?” She said. “Then we will be able to discuss your mission at greater length, and the conditions of your presence here on Mandalore. Although I must ask that you limit the amount of interference of your Jedi business until we’ve discussed the terms.”

She turned around and began walking toward the speeder that would return her to the palace. One guard offered her his hand to help her into the speeder before Obi-Wan was unable to unfreeze his tongue and remembered how to speak again. 

“I left.” 

The words were desperate and Obi-Wan was sure that he swallowed his tongue after they left his mouth. Because everyone stopped what they were doing. The Duchess’ hand was still in the guard’s and one foot was on the speeder, but there was no other movement to continue to climb into the vehicle. The guard stood ready, already on alert should anyone move to attack their planet’s leader while she was exposed outside the dome. Anakin’s eyes had grown wide and he watched Obi-Wan.

Slowly, the Duchess turned her head to look back at Obi-Wan. 

“Excuse me?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. It was cool and controlled. Obi-Wan recognized it as the one she used as a warning before she allowed all her hard won restraint fall to the wayside. 

“I left the Jedi Order,” Obi-Wan repeated. His voice cracked, and he found that he didn’t care too much about it. “They wouldn’t allow me to train Anakin, so we left.” 

The Duchess’ foot came off the speeder to land on the platform again. With no expression other than the mask she wore for others, she took a few steps closer to Obi-Wan and Anakin. She withdrew her hand from the guard and held it out to Obi-Wan. It took him seconds to close the distance and hold it. The Duchess lifted her chin. 

“Perhaps there is more to discuss than I originally thought,” she said. “Perhaps you and Anakin would like to accompany me to my Palace presently.” 

Obi-Wan accepted her offer and motioned for Anakin to join them as they climbed into the speeder. One of the guards had protested the presence of virtual strangers in the speeder, but she was quick to reprimand him, explaining that one had been a Jedi that had saved her life on more than one occasion, and the other was a literal child. The guard was quick to back down, and allowed himself to remain behind so the speeder wouldn’t be overcrowded. 

Anakin thought it was a little funny. Fortunately, one look from Obi-Wan was enough to stop his snickers. 

The ride to the Palace was brief and quiet. Obi-Wan made certain not to make eye contact with anyone other than Anakin. This avoidance continued until they were well into the personal apartment of the Duchess and her guard was dismissed to patrol the rest of the palace. 

Then it was only just the three of them. 

“Would anyone like tea?” The Duchess asked. 

Obi-Wan confirmed that he would and Anakin asked if he would be to just have some milk instead. The Duchess smiled down at him and confirmed that he could have that, and called for a droid to bring the beverages for them. Then they sat on the couches in front of them. 

Their quiet continued until the droid returned with their drinks before returning to its alcove. 

“Tell me, Obi-Wan. How did you come to find Anakin then?” 

Obi-Wan took a deep breath before he started to explain. He explained the mission he and Qui-Gon had been on to Naboo. How they came to be on Tatooine, and how Anakin won his freedom in a pod-race. He explained how Qui-Gon wanted to train the boy, and how he would have if the Sith hadn’t murdered him in the Reactor on Naboo. How when he petitioned the Council to take up the training Qui-Gon had intended and asked Obi-Wan to do, he’d been refused. How they planned on letting Anakin fend for himself, or worse, send him back to slavery to be with his mother, and how he couldn’t let that happen, and decided that he would leave with Anakin. How they’d come to Mandalore in hope of some refuge while Obi-Wan attempted to figure out what to do. 

To her credit, the Duchess remained quiet while Obi-Wan explained everything. It was only when he finally ran out of steam that she finally asked her first question. 

“You still intend to train Anakin then?” 

Obi-Wan looked over at the boy in question. He had fallen asleep midway through Obi-Wan’s explanation and was sprawled out on the couch he had chosen to sit on. His mouth was hanging open and there was a line of drool running down his cheek. 

“I promised Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan said, not taking his attention away from him. “I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to, now that I’ve walked away from the Order. I was only a padawan.”

The Duchess reached over and rested her hand across Obi-Wan’s knee. Reflexively, he dropped his own hand to cover hers. 

“I’m confident you will do a wonderful job, Obi-Wan,” she said. “If you dedicate yourself to his training with only a fraction of the dedication you used to protect me, then you will make Anakin into a fine Jedi.” 

“Only except he wouldn’t be able to claim the title of Jedi due to being trained outside the Order.” 

The Duchess sighed and squeezed his knee. He turned his attention away from Anakin to look at her. She had abandoned the mask she had worn while she was in the company of her guards. He could see how her grief was still reflected in her eyes over Qui-Gon’s death, and how there was hope in regard to the new path his life had taken, but also a hint of frustration there as well. He figured he wouldn’t have to wait long before she told him what bothered her. 

“What does it matter if Anakin would be able to call himself a Jedi? Qui-Gon asked you to train him, and you’ll do that. It would still be possible for him to bring balance to the Force, as Qui-Gon thought, even if he’s not a part of the Order, would he not?” 

Obi-Wan was forced to ponder that thought for a moment or two. Would Anakin be able to achieve the balance that Qui-Gon had thought he would achieve outside of the Order? Qui-Gon would have thought so. He seemed to thrive in the areas where the Jedi Order and their Code seemed to deem to gray. 

_ Follow the will of the Living Force _ , Qui-Gon would say. 

He turned from the Duchess and looked back at Anakin. He had turned over in his sleep and now had an arm draped over the side of the couch and his fingertips were barely long enough to touch the floor. 

“Yes,” he finally said. “Yes, I think he could.” 

“There you are then,” she said, removing her hand from his knee. Obi-Wan immediately missed the warmth that came from her touch. “I knew you would be able to see reason.” 

She stood and started to gather the empty cups their drinks had been brought to them in. Once they were all in her hands, she started to leave the room. Obi-Wan watched her back as she neared the door, when he called out again. 

“What about us?” 

She paused. “Pardon me?” 

“What about us?” He repeated, less desperate and less sure of himself. 

Slowly she turned around and gave Obi-Wan a look that he was unable to decipher. 

“I can arrange a place for you and Anakin to stay while you’re on Mandalore,” she said. 

Obi-Wan shook his head. He stood up and closed the distance between the pair of them and rested his hands on her shoulders. Her gaze widened as the realization of what he was talking about dawned on her. 

“The Force brought us here for a reason; maybe, perhaps, since I’m not a part of the Order anymore—”

Before he could say anymore, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. The move stunned Obi-Wan into silence, and he stared at her, uncomprehending. 

“Worry about training Anakin for right now,” she said as she pulled away. One hand rested against Obi-Wan’s chest. “Rekindling a romance can wait.” 

She was right. Of course she was right. He felt like kicking himself. Freed from the constraints of the Order for less than a full rotation and he was already behaving impulsively. He dipped his head and apologized. Obi-Wan could hear her sigh and the clinking of glasses as she set down the cups on a nearby table. Then he felt her hands rest on either side of his face and lift his head up to look at her. 

“There’s no need to rush our feelings, dear,” she said. “You’ve just lived through a traumatic ordeal. Your master, the closest thing you had to a father was murdered in front of you, and now you find yourself in charge of the education of a boy who lived his entire life in slavery. And you’ve left behind the only life you’ve ever known. It’s going to take some time to adjust. Let yourself have it. When you find that balance inside you again, I’ll be waiting right here.” 

“Of course, Your Grace,” Obi-Wan said. 

“Satine. I won’t stand for the formalities from you," she corrected. 

“Of course.” He pressed a kiss into her palm. Then with a smile and flourish, she disappeared into the other room to finish cleaning up their dishes. Obi-Wan watched her go with fond affection. She was right. He wasn’t sure how long he would have been able to keep the formal distance anyway. 

“Was that your girlfriend?” Anakin asked, popping up out of nowhere at Obi-Wan’s elbow. 

Obi-Wan did his very best not to jump at the sudden appearance of the boy. He hadn’t even realized that Anakin had awoken from his second nap. He was going to have to be more mindful of his surroundings in the future. Or put a bell around Anakin’s neck. 

The image put a smile to Obi-Wan’s face. 

“Perhaps in this life, she can be.” 

Anakin groaned and rolled his eyes. “Why can’t you ever give me a clear answer?” He complained. 

“Because our dear Obi-Wan here, thrives on seeing our confusion over his riddles,” Satine said walking back into the room. Anakin nodded in agreement. “Now, I know you’ve been travelling for a while, and I’m sure you’d like to rest, so allow me to open my home to you. I can have beds made for you, if you would like?” 

Anakin looked to Mandalore’s ruler. 

“Could I have more than one pillow?” He asked. 

Satine smiled and leaned down to tweak his nose. 

“You can have as many pillows as your heart desires,” she told him. 

Anakin ran off with a yipee! and left Obi-Wan and Satine standing there watching his excitement. And try as he might, Obi-Wan was unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face. 

“Look what you’ve done, my dear,” he said, turning to look at Satine. “I’ll never be able to get him out of bed in the morning for meditation.” 

Satine only smiled at him. “Then I guess you’ve got your work cut out for you then?” 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but laugh and pulled Satine into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his back, and Obi-Wan felt lighter. As if the whole universe shifted into place. 

It was a good feeling. 

**Author's Note:**

> Afterwards, Satine makes sure that Obi-Wan and Anakin get therapy and also makes a point to free Shmi from slavery. With his mom back, proper coping mechanisms for trauma, and the absence of Palpatine whispering in his ear, Anakin does not to fall to the Dark side. Everyone lives, except Palpatine, cause screw that guy.


End file.
